In your heart, you made a choice to denounce all the things I did. No matter what I did, no matter what I said, you were not satisfied, even things as simple as not knowing your favourite drink. You chose to push me away further and further everytime I got closer. You chose to test me because you did not want to trust me. In the end, you ultimately chose to give up. No one understands from being told that he does not understand. He will understand when you tell him about it. You're right, I really don't understand what you have been trying to do. Since you have made the decision, it will stand as of now on. You're old enough to understand the consequences of the decision you have made.

It feels like playing Monopoly. You pick up a Chance card and you thought it was something good. Instead it leads to you losing all your assets and also lose a turn. I've been robbed. Robbed of my precious time for you, just because I relented and thought it was for a greater good. A good turn doesn't deserve another, it deserves a kick in the ass. Now I sit here, wasting another book-out. Well, just to cheer myself up, there isn't a lot of book-ins left anyway.

What a lovely night. The moon is at its fullest and the stars are shining brightly. The cool breeze sweeps across, blowing into my face. Its been a long time since I experienced this kind of peace and freedom, closest to the tranquility that I've always been looking for. As I continue to cross out the days on my calender, I can smell the day that has been in my mind, the day that guys mutter wherever they go, so addictive that people can spend time making videos about it that go viral.

I've figured out with all thats said and done

yeah, maybe two is better than one.

so why don't you walk the talk?

I can't believe I'm playing so much L4D2 these few days that I'm having nightmares of myself being stuck in zombieland these few days.

It marks the end of a good year which I mostly enjoyed, making history completing 60km and the rest of the RCC stuff, killing birds and being prisoner. Together with all my mates, we completed 3 FTX and Wallaby and a lot more that I would have to write a 10000 word report if I described everything. I love their company even though I don't wanna see them so often if it means I've to go back to camp.

Besides I'd like to thank everyone that have been walking with me together in life, for being there when I was down, for being there when I was up, and being there though not all the time, but at least some part of my life. You know who you all are if you read this and you realised you're smiling, on your face or in your heart.

2010, a new beginning. Hint, pink IC. Really looking forward to whats ahead and making the best outta it. To make that happen, first off I gotta jumpstart myself so that I can complete my 2B. Beisdes that Xbox is always in my mind after getting my own rig, making my room that ultimate entertainment room with beer in the wardrobe you know. My Iphone dream is still very much alive and all these I'm sure, is gonna plant a big hole in my wallet, yup the one you gave to me, that one that still has a polaroid picture of you and me in it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The more I see, I less I know. And the more I wanna let it go. The more I wipe up my act, the more gloomy things get. So what do I say?

I'm back from almost a month away from my home. From the sandy dunes of Aussie to the mouth-watering Taipei, I now find reality setting in, that I have to return to camp in less than 24 hours time.

Time to pack up all my stuff, my feelings, and leave everything familiar behind to explore a new ground. I hope this break will do me good, and when I come back, better things and happy news await me.